The Princess Problem, Episode 5

In which our intrepid adventurer discovers the dangers of love…

Read Episode 4 here

—5—

What smoldering dark eyes my princess has! Long lashes batted invitingly at me and only me. So what if they batted with an angry fire unmatched in passion by any woman save Rosa? They batted for me.

And so what if those eyes belonged to the face of the same heavily cowled figure who had tried to kill me as Rosa and I had magically departed from Solvang? Those long lashes batted for me.

And so what if Rosa fingered her dainty wand while those long lashes batted for me? Well, that did matter. It was only later that I realized what a mistake it was to ignore Rosa’s body language.

“Halt!” cried the princess. With practiced precision, her troops collided with each other. She leaned out her window and stared at me. I had little choice but to stare back, her long neck and shoulders bare save for a twinkling silver necklace filled with scintillating sapphires. Her gold-trimmed pink-and-white dress flowed towards an impossibly thin waist, the fabric sparkling as if woven with the stars themselves. Radiant blond hair cascaded in impossibly thick curls over her shoulders and down her back, held in place by the daintiest of tiaras. No man could deny she was the perfect picture of evil personified.

“I know you,” she slowly purred, eyes narrowing. A white gloved hand stroked her delicate chin as she examined me from head to toe.

I smiled and bowed with a flourishing sweep of my arm. “At your service, your highness.”

Did I not know fear, you ask, as I faced the very assassin who had attempted to kill me? No, not this fearless warrior, even though it had doubtless been her who had poisoned my boss. No, not I, for I was in love.

As I rose, recognition alighted my love’s smoldering dark eyes.

“Why, you’re… Guards! Take this man and his, uh, witch to the castle!”

Rosa’s jaw bounced up and down several times as the princess’ troops surrounded us, clamping meaty fists on our arms. With no time to raise her dainty wand, no sudden croaking ensued, and the two of us joined the parade.

On to Episode 6!